As we wait for our son and pray that the Lord will have us united before Christmas, we continue to wait. So far in this process each bit of glorious news has been tainted with the sadness of the waiting that would ensue soon after the initial feeling had passed. I take solace in knowing that the next bit of news that we will have will allow us to know the exact date in which Ian will become ours officially. These weeks are so difficult as I try to put the urgency I feel on a back burner and deal with the resulting guilt for trying to do so. As I enjoy the luxuries of my life (my loving family) I could just cry for my son who is not experiencing these same things. I think forward to the holidays that are nearly here and I wonder how much joy I will have knowing that Ian is still waiting for the love and kisses I have to offer. I have to try to make peace with this wait once again because we have no choice.
Thank God that Renee and Geert received news of their court date today. Their children need them so much and I can't wait until they are all together.
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5 comments:
hey lindsey! i can't imagine all the feelings you must be experiencing, all at once. hang in there - i'm sure it won't be long now til you have that cutie in your arms. btw, my best friend out here is from Louisville. I showed her your blog and she was so excited to see you were from Pikeville, and just loved baby Ian! :)
Lindsey, you made me cry. I know that your heart must be aching for your little Ian. I don't even have a picture of Nathan yet...and I feel the same way. My prayer each and every day is that in some mysterious and amazing way, that God is holding our babies and loving them...and that they feel loved. I hope that the court date works out where you can travel before Christmas. You have such a loving and tender heart...a mother's heart! Ian is so loved! Amy
You said that so perfectly. The range of emotions during this process and how fast I fluctuate from one end to another, is so hard to explain. I keep telling people how I go from elation to this sense of longing and almost sadness all in a matter of minutes. Almost like a piece of me is missing. Just think though...soon we will have our babies in our arms and this will all seem so long ago:-) I can't wait to hear the news of your court date!
Hang in there Lindsey...waiting is NEVER easy...I will pray you have a court date soon so you can hold Ian in your arms.
Does it seem like this wait is harder than the wait for the referral? Knowing that he's yours, knowing his sweet little face, and waiting to touch it? He is just as much in God's arms right now as He was before you knew his face, and His arms are well able to protect and love him until he reaches yours. What a blessed little boy!
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