First week of waiting

Today is the first day of the first real week of waiting. I am excited, scared, nervous, anxious...etc. You could put any word in the end of that sentence and it would accurately describe how I feel today. I have tried to dive into my work so that I wouldn't have so much free time. So for the next few weeks I will be tired, excited, scared, nervous, anxious...etc. LOL I have read so many blogs this weekend and examined more timelines and stories than I even knew possible. I want to have hope that the timeline will be shorter than the projected three months. We have heard so many things about boy waits being shorter than girl and single children being quicker than sibling groups. I want the first baby that comes along!! Is that crazy?? I know that God knows Ian and that he will come to me in his own time but I want him so so much! So for the next several Mondays I will blog about how I plan to spend the week and how we are hopeful. I have heard for sooo long that a watched pot never boils. If you would just stop thinking about getting pregnant it would happen. OR If you would just not worry about it a referral will happen. Well I have come to accept that if it takes not thinking about it or not planning for it, I can rest assured that it will NEVER happen to me! This is who I am imperfect as it may be, God made me this way and he knows that I am OVERLY ANXIOUS!! In our first homestudy meeting our social worker asked us to describe each other in just a few words. I went first. I said well Cortney is loving, compassionate, gentle, and devoted. Then it was Cortney's turn. He said that I was organized. Organized??? Are you kidding me?? That was the first word he could think of?? So there you have it, we may be the last Gladney applicants to ever receive a referral because I won't stop watching the pot. God help us!!!