Some days are just better than others

Today I hit the big 2-6. Twenty-six years of this wonderful life that I call my own. Twenty six years of freedom, food, shelter, and very minimal worries. All things that the starving orphans in countries all around the world will never have. The guilt I have over my many blessings continues to burden me. How could this life be so luxurious for me and so difficult for God's other children? I continue to seek answers.

I wish I could have my daughter home. I wish that she was in her bed, snug as a bug in a rug, getting up at 2am for drinks of water, and waking me up to make breakfast at sunrise! These are familiar feelings that I had this time last year as we waited for our I-171H to arrive. For my birthday present last year Cortney took me to Babies-R-Us and we bought all of the nursery essentials. This year, all of those beautiful things are in the pristine nursery while the true essentials are in my bedroom along with my sleeping one year old! Life is good. I smile more now than I ever have and I find myself being more thankful for the little things. I am in love with a little boy that has taken over my world and given me more purpose than I have ever known.

So, happy birthday to me and here's to many more!

Future baseball star!

Lounging with mommy in the pool!

Seriously...do you know how much I want to kiss this little face off???

Not just kinda walking...really walking!!!

This weekend was great! We went to two ballet recitals and the Adoption Assistance picnic. The recitals were wonderful. My nieces were stunning and I am amazed at their growth as dancers each year. I get a little more sappy every year as Ema grows older and closer to those tween years. Cortney and I started dating soon after Ema was born over 9 years ago. He came to see my sister and Ema in the hospital one day while I was in school and we were all sold on him from then! It turns out that he just wanted to hold the baby without sharing her with everyone. We have been privileged to hone our parenting skills on these precious children and I am so thankful to have been in their lives!
The Adoption Assistance picnic was great! We got to meet so many adoptive families and share stories about the journey of adoption and parenthood. We met a great couple interested in adopting from Ethiopia and I could kick myself for not exchanging email addresses with them. We were able to give Gladney two thumbs up for Ethiopian adoptions! It felt good to recommend them to people and know for certain that even if the process gets bumpy, Gladney knows confidently how to navigate the bumps. I don't know where all our adoption journey will take us, but we will always be grateful to Gladney for getting us through at least our first adoption unscathed! I joked that we will never again be in a place where so many people know the meaning and pains of a foreign adoption dossier. It was a great time and we enjoyed it so much! I love to take every opportunity to celebrate Ian and his entrance into our family. We are one, one family, growing, learning and loving each day.

We ended up staying the night in Lexington so Ian could go swimming. This was our first night staying away with Ian since we moved into our new house. It was strange to break his routine and he definitely wasn't a fan. He appears to be a creature of habit just like me! It took some convincing for him to go to sleep at nearly 11 even though he had played outside all day and gone swimming! He wanted to go to sleep but missed the familiarity of home. I think I did too a little. We have moved a ton, traveled a little, but nothing replaces the coziness of your own bed!

We are slowly phasing out the bottle. We stopped giving formula last week, now it is milk only. We are down to 1-2 bottles per day, so this week will will transition to the cup. I am so sad to see the bottle go. Anyone who knows me, knows that I took my bottle until the ripe old age of SIX. Six years old and I would come home from school and suck my bottle of chocolate milk! I would throw it behind the couch if anyone from the neighborhood came in and caught me drinking it!! Very silly, but I was my mother's baby and at this point I can see what she was trying to preserve...babydom. However, for the health of my child's psyche, I will take the bottle at a less embarrassing age.

Finally I have added a video of my 12 month old walking all over, bending for a toy, and continuing to walk, following after his daddy. Last week he went from a shaky, tumbling, 4-5 steps, to walking across the yard! He has come such a long way in the past 6 months! When he came home he wouldn't even bear any weight on his legs (zero/none/nada) and now he is walking all over the place....amazing.

Cortney and Ian at the picnic

Ian watching intently at Chelsea's ballet recital

His brand new sandbox!

Ian getting a diaper change while we waited in the car for the rain to quit!

Me trying to keep Ian on the train with my foot to get a pic!

Cuteness Abounds

It is 12:30am and I should more than be in bed with my sleeping baby. Instead I am finishing sending the revised dossier documents to Natalie for review tomorrow. I am missing Kate Sproat (KBS Dossiers) right about now and wishing I had splurged and spent the extra $275 to have her up late taking care of business for me. Oh well, next time for sure we will use her! We are impatiently awaiting our I-171H and my mail man has ceased making eye contact out of what appears to be fear of the stalker mommy lurking by the mail box! Oh help me make it through this wait once again.
M*s room gives me great comfort on these nights. I just walk in there and look at her toys and things and imagine her sitting in the middle of her bed. Soon, very soon, her smile and laugh will fill this house with even more love than we knew existed. Two children, born in my heart, birthed in Ethiopia by two women, will create one family, inseparable for life.

Enjoy the video of my little cutie pie as he entertains his faithful audience.

Happy First Birthday to Ian!

Today we celebrated the much awaited, much dreaded event...the first birthday party! I dreaded the dickens out of this day because the turning of one seems likes the closing of a chapter. A chapter that I just was not ready to finish. So today, we celebrated Ian's birth, the day in which he came into the world with such a bumpy start but with will and determination that will carry him through this life. We celebrated the making of our family, the union of two people with a perfect little boy who was carried and birthed by another woman but entered this world with the fate of becoming a Clevinger. Today as I watched him assert his independence and show off his new skills I can be certain that a part of who he is...is because of me.

Ian and cousin Lucas
Cortney appears to be in pain

The bounce houses!

Ian, Star and Sam (our neighbors)
Ian's birthday present from Mommy and Daddy!

My beautiful son.

Officially IAN!

Today was our stateside adoption hearing for Ian's adoption. When our court date happened in Ethiopia Ian's Ethiopian birth certificate was issued and his legal name at that point was Surafel Cortney Clevinger. It has been that officially until today!! He is officially Ian Parker Surafel Clevinger!!! We had some issues with his birth date and it looks as if from this point forward we will have to celebrate his birthday on June 5th instead of May 20th as we had originally thought. We have some conflicting dates on a few of the papers so the court went by his Ethiopian birth certificate. In reality that date was the day he was received into Enant Alam orphanage. So now, I am thinking we will be having four very special days each year to celebrate for Ian. His legal birthday, the original date they had given us, the day he was placed in our arms forever, and today, the day he was officially Ian!

While we were waiting for our hearing today I just stood there and reviewed the changes that the past year has brought to my life. I look at this amazing little boy and my heart melts. I am Ian's mom. As badly as I wanted to be a mother I could have never imagined the joy that he would bring me. I just can't imagine life without Ian, a little boy with a million smiles, precious kisses, and a personality that can light up a room.

Enjoy the pics of our super special day!

Today is my Adoption Day!!
Mommy and Ian before we went to the hearing.

Ian playing with the toys in the children's room at family court!

Time for us?
YAY Daddy!
Mom and Ian

Judge Thompson and Ian Parker Surafel Clevinger!!!

Mother's Day...finally

I just wanted to say how very grateful I am to have joined such an elite group...mothers. Today I celebrated my mother, my grandmother and myself. But today I also celebrated the mother who helped me become a mother. God Bless her and we pray that she is safe.

Nearly ONE

Just 17 more days until my little baby turns one. I have not wanted to plan for this party because I knew that it mean accepting him growing up. But, guess what? I have no choice...he is growing by leaps and bounds every day. His little personality catches me off guard. I just don't expect him to be so witty so young! Ian knows he is cute. He also knows that we all know he is cute. He uses this knowledge to entertain, get his way, and show off! Nonetheless, I am always amused and this he knows as well!





Good news about our paperwork. All clearances were received and our homestudy is at Gladney being reviewed. As soon as they are finished it will go to CIS thank goodness! Who knows how long it will take CIS to grant us an approval? We submitted our application on March 21st, got fingerprinted on April 11th but our homestudy won't make it to CIS until probably May 12th (long estimation I hope). It could be as little as a week or two or up to 6-8 weeks. So my secret hopes of being home before the shut down are quickly dwindling and now my worst fears of being gone at Christmas again are cropping up. No one panic...it is just my worst fear. That would be some kind of worst case scenario where EVERYTHING went badly for us.





We are still praying for our friends who have not made it through court despite many attempts. I would love to offer some words of comfort to them but I'm sure at this point comfort will come only when they are united with their children.

mouth FULL of water...

mouth EMPTY!!! Cute smile and two teeth!